How do you put an image here?

erm... i dunno what to call this...

Mon, 04 May 2009 22:16:00 -0400

self-realization?
self-discovery?
err… what else…
i dunno.
but does it really matter?

we live in a time where everyone is trying to tell us who to be, how to act, what to do, what to say, blahblahblah… the list goes on and on and on. which sounds like it could be making our lives easier, right? i mean, we dont have to think about anything, cause someone is always telling us what to do!

but, i find myself in a state of constantly being unfulfilled. i feel like because someone is always telling me who i’m supposed to be, i’m not turning into the person that i was meant to. how am i supposed to develop into an individual when everyone is always trying to control what i’m doing?

we’re all at the stage in our lives when we wonder.
who am i?
do i matter?
what am i supposed to be?
how can i make a difference?

because really, that’s what life is all about. just being yourself. mattering to others. but how can you be yourself when you dont know who you are?

what i think is funny, is we’re all trying to get somewhere, but we have no idea where we’re going. i sure as hell dont know what i’m doing. we’re all kind of running around with too much direction. someone is always trying to point you one way or another, pulling you away from where someone else is trying to push you. i actually wrote a song with a line about that in it, but i wasnt really sure how to explain it until now…

i’ve been moving forwards
bending over backwards
tied to all positions
means you’ll never feel alone

we’re all kinda getting pushed around, bending over to try and help other people when we don’t even know what we want. while it’s all well and good to try and help others out, should we not understand what we want? should you not understand how to get where you’re going before you’re capable of helping someone else?

we try to please everyone so we can feel fulfilled ourselves, but without proper guidance how can we help each other? we’ll always be alone if we try and go where everyone is pointing us because we’ll jsut keep running the same circle. meaning we’ll end up not only dizzy, sick, and confused, but also right back where we started.

so how can you find out who you are? i’m still trying to figure that bit out myself. i think you just have to listen to yourself. think before you act. try and understand what you’re going to do before you do it. ask yourself questions before you do anything.

is what i’m doing right?
how will this affect myself and others?
where will this take me? and do i want to go there?
what happens if i do nothing?

sometimes, it’s nice to just sit back and see where life takes you. but that doesn’t mean you sit on your ass the whole time and let it come to you. sometimes you have to take life by the balls and squeeze. you can get any orange juice without squeezing the orange, right?

so people, how can you find out who want to be? sometimes, it’s not necessarily about what you want to be. sometimes it’s what you DON’T want to be. like… i dont want to be an astronaut cause i’m afraid of open space. or i dont want to be a landscaper cause i hate manual labour. sometimes, if you know what you dont want, it’s easier to figure out what you do want to be.

i’m still trying to figure out where i’m going. and it’s a scary thing. i dont know who i am, and i dont know what i’ll become. i just hope my friends can stick around for the ride.

lovelovelove

"Quote me! Quote me! Uhh… What do I have to say today…? CAH-TOON! MUFFIN!"

Wed, 22 Apr 2009 10:08:53 -0400

“Quote me! Quote me! Uhh… What do I have to say today…? CAH-TOON! MUFFIN!”

- Hayley McCall

damn.

Sun, 19 Apr 2009 22:19:48 -0400

i wish i could find band members who were into the same kinda music as me.

as in, coldplay, neverending white lights, leaving sangster, the passengers, etc.

you know, mellow stuff.

awww.

i need a drummer, a bassist, and a lead guitarist :(

I like the message this song gives. It’s called...

Sun, 19 Apr 2009 21:36:23 -0400

I like the message this song gives. It’s called Frequencies, by The Junction

If you can love over me
If you can love over me
If you can bleed over me
If you can bleed over me

Raindrops
Paper cups
Tears for
Your loss
In a rut
Don’t stop
Rain down
Your love

Is it wrong, is it right?
Is it comfortable tonight?
Is it sane?
And does it have to be this way?

If you can love over me
Hands create a harmony
Heart beats from over seas
Hopes for distant unity

If you can bleed over me
Speak the same frequency
What should seem far from reach
Merely be a formality

Raindrops
Paper cups
Tears for
Your loss
In a rut
Don’t stop
Rain down
Your love

Is it wrong, is it right?
Is it comfortable tonight?
Is it sane?
And does it have to be this way?

Days pass
And weeks into nothing
Soon you’ll see
We all do the same things
Conformed
Mentality
Is what you live

Is it wrong, is it right?
Is it comfortable tonight?
Is it sane?
And does it have to be this way?

life.

Wed, 15 Apr 2009 23:49:54 -0400

pretty goddamn frustrating right now if you ask me.

i keep saying this over and over and over, trying to make things better, but it’s not. i’m overwhelmed with shit. this year has just been ridiculous, like. i just want to scream. i’ve been having ridiculous nervous breakdowns, throwing up, getting the shakes, and anxiety attacks.

not fucking good.

so i finally decided to see my doctor about it, after realizing i’ve been treating everyone like shit. turns out she thinks i have serious depression. whoop-dee-doo. that’s another thing i need to add to my list. so i’ve got a follow up appointment to confirm that, and in the meantime, she’s given me a prescription for pills that are supposed to numb my head when i’m feeling hostile, sad, or just upset in general.

i think i’m slowly going crazy. everyone who knew me a few months ago know what i’m like. i’m usually pretty relaxed about things, taking stuff as it comes. but lately i’m feeling more and more frustration. like, i’m a bunch of little bombs with very short fuses, and everytime someone pisses me off, it lights one and i blow up. again. and again. and again. i think one day before the end of the school y ear someone is finally gonna set them all of and i’m just gonna have a crazy mental breakdown. i’m not a mental case, really. just overwhelmed.

note to world: i like breaking things

so. yeah. i’m pretty sure i already said this year has been ridiculous. there’s some shit that we’ve all gone through. the death of travis to cancer. that was a big one. i’ve had a lot of family die of cancer and it hit me hard. then there was courtney. shit, that made me sad. i mean, the kid is our age. and i would see him in the hallways and he’s always so happy. i mean, i didn’t know him personally, but people talk, you know, and when it’s someone like you, you gotta wonder, why? i always wonder when people die. and it digs and eats at me. it drives me insane. i have to know. but i dont want to seem insensitive or nosy when i ask. he wasnt my friend, per se, but i think we all have some sort of comradery when we go through highschool, you know? we all deal with the same shit.

did he talk to anyone? were there any signs? how was his family dealing with it? it was my first brush with suicide, and it was weird. like… i’ve known friends of friends who’ve done it, but never anyone personally. poor guy. i cant imagine anything that bad. i wish i could’ve helped him.

and then my uncle. that hurt. we would talk at family reunions sometimes about how awkward they were. i didnt know him super well, but family is family, right? he’s my blood. he was a good guy, and now he’s gone.

and then schoolwork. it seems like whenever i finish one project, 10 more seem to want to pounce on me. what the hell? i get stuck with partners who dont do their shit, which makes me stay up into the wee hours of the morning trying to get everything done? how is that fair to me? i have other shit i have to do! i could be sleeping!

except not, cause i have insomnia cause of all this shit that’s been going on. i wonder, will next day be my last? what would i do if i found out i was gonna die? it’s crazy! i mean, i’m not the type to commit suicide, i’ve thought about it, how easy it would be to end everything, but i know i would never act on it. cause what’s the point, really? what’s the point in living if you’re just gonna die? i’d rather live life out to it’s fullest, no matter what.

fuck, i cant wait til next year. i can work with people who have the same interests as me, same ideas, and have the drive and motivation to do well, cause that’s what it takes to get into university.

if i even make it that far. so i got rejected by humber. that was a big one. i poured my heart and soul into practicing for my audition, then i blew it. i didnt get into the school, and i fell behind on my schoolwork. which makes it harder now, because i need that entrance scholarship to stay in residence, which is what i want to do. fuck i want to move out so badly.

my parents seem to want nothing more than to aggravate me. they expect me to act like an adult, but they still treat me like a child. i go to work like they do, and i go to school. i keep my emotions under control, usually, i’m polite to customers and people, blah blah blah.

but it’s just a goddamn mask. on the inside, i’m nothing but a hateful angry person. and i hate that about myself. i was never like this before. i dont like anyone anymore. not even myself. and it’s hard and painful living like this. i’m trying to get past it, but i cant help it. i dont understand. maybe i’ll go get those pills, but right now i think i’m gonna try to overcome my insomnia and sleep or something. fuck.

oh. i lied. the only person who can calm me down. the only person i seem to care about right now is fiona. thank god for that girl. i dont know what i’d do without her.

so the reason why i’m avoiding everyone is cause i dont wanna blow anyone’s head open. cause i think i’m that crazy.

love love all around!
thomas

Sipping whiskey out the bottle, not thinking 'bout tomorrow.

Mon, 13 Apr 2009 22:19:50 -0400

I want a tattoo, too. Let’s do it together, Jess :)

jesskalaa:

I think everyone should do something for themselves atleast once a day. Do something that makes you smile, even if its the smallest thing. More importantly, I think everyone should do something that scares them. Something they never thought they’d do, but do it anyways. Who cares if its a school night, go on a late night walk with your friend, even if you’re scared of the dark. I tell ya, things like that give me a thrill. When I’m with certain people, I feel like going on a crazy adventure and just getting away from here for a bit. One thing I’m going to do is get a bunch of people and just go on some crazy road trip or something. And Shannon, if you want to go to Ireland then do it. Save up. Make it seem realistic and do it. I’ll be there with you if you wanted. Don’t hold back, nothings stopping you. This is life hun, you’re supposed to live it up. :)

I think during my year off, I’m going to travel a bit. That requires money, but I can do it. I want to get a ton of pictures, see what others have to say about them (professionals) and perpare myself more for my next portfolio. I’m excited for life, I really have no idea what to expect anymore. And for some reason, I’m okay with that. I usually freak out when I don’t know whats going to happen next, but the way I see it, I’m still young. I’m only 17 and theres still so much I want to do. Another thing that has crossed my mind more than once is getting an appartment with my friends. Sarah always talks about moving out, I’d join you! I see how much my friends/peers are freaking out about school, work, and especially next year. I feel for them, cause I’m freaking out too. But I know we’ll hang in there.

People always get really fustrated with me when our conversations go like this:
person: what do you want to do?
me: don’t matter.
person: what do you feel like doing?
me: anything really.
person: ok, well when do you want to?
me: heh, don’t matter really.
lol. truly when I’m like that, I really don’t care. If I did, I’d give a straight answer. But generally I don’t, so I give such a vague answer. sorry guys! I know so many people who get mad at me for that. It’s random to bring up, but it kinda shows that I’m just NOT a planner. What so ever. I rarely plan the things that happen in my life.

Live, laugh, love.
PS: I want a piercing or tattoo. I have so many ideas :$ But I’m sorta chicken, so who knows when I’ll grow the balls to do it. :)

"Does he look the same in every picture?"

Fri, 10 Apr 2009 22:16:16 -0400

“Does he look the same in every picture?”

- Ms Cressman on Internet Boyfriends

"AH! You’ll never get in!"

Mon, 06 Apr 2009 14:41:29 -0400

“AH! You’ll never get in!”

- Hayley McCall

love.

Mon, 06 Apr 2009 13:04:07 -0400

rikashay:

stupidrantsgohere:

Erin keeps talking about this free-writing thing. So I’m gonna try it. I’m sure she’ll tell me if I’m doing it wrong.

So. Love. Haha, I dont really know why i’m writing about this, i read Jess’s blog about how people find love and then that note she wrote and facebook and it kinda got me thinking.

While I agree that love isn’t always a movie-perfect thing. It isn’t necessarily about being scared shitless either. When I’m with Fiona, I always experience a rollercoaster of emotions. We can go from being angry with each other, to miserable, to in extreme ecstasy, to a sense of hope and security. It’s crazy.

Love isn’t about being around the other. Nor is it about what you do when aren’t with the other. To me, it’s knowing that someone out there cares about you. It’s having someone who pushes you to do better. It gives you a sense of security about yourself, but at the same time, makes you constantly question whether or not what you’re doing is right.

When I’m with Fiona, I always try to better myself as a person. Whether it’s being more conscious about how i act towards others, or think about decisions I’ve made in life, she makes me want to be better just by being herself. She doesn’t have to say anything, or do anything. She gives me reason to focus in school, to practice my drums, and to work my ass off to make money.

But love is about being scared too. What’s scary about it, is KNOWING that someone cares about you. Weird. I know. But it’s a rollercoaster. The feeling of loving someone so fully and completely is mind-blowing. It’s mind-blowing because the feeling is so foreign and different to what we normally experience. It’s not happiness. It’s not upsetting. It’s such a warm feeling. Ecstatic, but at the same time calming, reserving. Hard to explain. But you get what I mean.

I guess. It’s a bit of a combination of what you do together and what you do apart. I think being together all the time gets a little dull. You’d probably end up doing the same thing blahblahblah. Spending some time apart is good. It gives both of you room to learn and grow as people on your own. What you do together is just as important. It lets you understand and grow with each other as well. It’s good to experience each other. It’s what love is. Experiencing the other person, what they like and dont, and solving problems and having joyful experiences together.

Love isnt about changing the other person to suit you either. You cant force someone to be something they arent. It’s about adapting and changing with each other. It’s finding what works for both of you and what doesn’t. It’s becoming better people, for yourself, for each other, and for the world. Love is about being true to yourself and to your significant other. I guess.

Lol, these are kind of random thoughts, and i’ll probably change it a million times and shit kinda went off topic. But. There you go. Stuff to think about.

Hey, Tomas.

I’m glad you tried freewriting. I really enjoy it because it’s so liberating, but at the same time it feels like you’re exposing yourself so much. I guess that’s why it IS liberating.

Anyway, your post doesn’t seem like much of a freewrite, but then again, I can’t really judge that properly. It’s supposed to be like a stream of consciousness thingy (like Virginia Woolf’s To The Lighthouse), but maybe you just have more focus than I do. My freewrites tend to skip around a lot more than yours did.

How did you go about doing your freewrite? It’s not supposed to be premeditated in the least. You’re supposed to just write about what you’re thinking, and you’re not supposed to stop or edit. You just go. If you can’t think of anything, you write, “I can’t think of anything” over and over until you CAN think of something. Or that’s what my English TA tells me, anyway.

Either way, how did you like it?

mm. i dont remember, lol, i wrote it yesterday. i dont think i stopped or anything? whenever i write, it tends to remain in one spot. cause like. when i think about something, my mind just focuses on that one thing. it’s weird actually, and kind of limiting when i’m trying to be creative. i just stopped writing when my thoughts ended. the only thing i thought of before i started was love. and then i just went for it.

love.

Sun, 05 Apr 2009 22:33:29 -0400

Erin keeps talking about this free-writing thing. So I’m gonna try it. I’m sure she’ll tell me if I’m doing it wrong. So. Love. Haha, I dont really know why i’m writing about this, i read Jess’s blog about how people find love and then that note she wrote and facebook and it kinda got me thinking. While I agree that love isn’t always a movie-perfect thing. It isn’t necessarily about being scared shitless either. When I’m with Fiona, I always experience a rollercoaster of emotions. We can go from being angry with each other, to miserable, to in extreme ecstasy, to a sense of hope and security. It’s crazy. Love isn’t about being around the other. Nor is it about what you do when aren’t with the other. To me, it’s knowing that someone out there cares about you. It’s having someone who pushes you to do better. It gives you a sense of security about yourself, but at the same time, makes you constantly question whether or not what you’re doing is right. When I’m with Fiona, I always try to better myself as a person. Whether it’s being more conscious about how i act towards others, or think about decisions I’ve made in life, she makes me want to be better just by being herself. She doesn’t have to say anything, or do anything. She gives me reason to focus in school, to practice my drums, and to work my ass off to make money. But love is about being scared too. What’s scary about it, is KNOWING that someone cares about you. Weird. I know. But it’s a rollercoaster. The feeling of loving someone so fully and completely is mind-blowing. It’s mind-blowing because the feeling is so foreign and different to what we normally experience. It’s not happiness. It’s not upsetting. It’s such a warm feeling. Ecstatic, but at the same time calming, reserving. Hard to explain. But you get what I mean. I guess. It’s a bit of a combination of what you do together and what you do apart. I think being together all the time gets a little dull. You’d probably end up doing the same thing blahblahblah. Spending some time apart is good. It gives both of you room to learn and grow as people on your own. What you do together is just as important. It lets you understand and grow with each other as well. It’s good to experience each other. It’s what love is. Experiencing the other person, what they like and dont, and solving problems and having joyful experiences together. Love isnt about changing the other person to suit you either. You cant force someone to be something they arent. It’s about adapting and changing with each other. It’s finding what works for both of you and what doesn’t. It’s becoming better people, for yourself, for each other, and for the world. Love is about being true to yourself and to your significant other. I guess. Lol, these are kind of random thoughts, and i’ll probably change it a million times and shit kinda went off topic. But. There you go. Stuff to think about.

"Do or do not. There is no try."

Sun, 05 Apr 2009 21:35:50 -0400

“Do or do not. There is no try.”

- Lisa quoting Yoda.

woo, we're almost done!

Wed, 01 Apr 2009 23:19:00 -0400

but that doesn’t mean it’s getting any easier

as i get older, i realize that life is really about one thing.

caring.

people need something to care about. to push them to try harder. to do better. everyone needs to succeed. and to do that, everyone needs goals. but what happens when we lose sight of what we want? what happens when we stop caring. what happens when we find we cant reach our goals? what do you do? find new goals? sure. you could always find new goals, but will you care about them as much?

i find lately that i have less and less to care about. not that i dont care about my friends. you guys know i love you. but still. i didnt get into humber. i got the rejection letter last week. i cant try again til next year, and then my highschool grades wont count cause i’ll be in york. and to be in york, i only need to maintain above 70 in english and above 60 in the rest of my courses. so why bother trying? i’ve been accepted already

i’m burnt out from trying all year. i’ve poured my fucking heart and soul into my work this year. and it’s gotten me nothing. i feel like shit cause i’ve given up quality time with friends. i’ve given up time to relax. i’ve passed up on so much so i could get good grades. so i could practice to reach my goal of getting into humber, the most prestigious jazz school in canada.

and i failed.

horribly.

i got to the audition and froze. so now that i’m not going to humber, at least not this year, what do i have left to do? i’m already going to university. i have what i need to get there. so why bother trying.

i’ve hit the point where i just dont care.

i get up in the morning. i show up in class. i sleep in class. i go to work or soccer practice or whatever. then i go home. and i go to sleep.

what a miserable existence.

i’m supposed to be pumped for university next year, but i find myself miserable just thinking about it. cause i’ve put so much effort into it, and i’m not even going where i want to. i feel like i do the same thing all the time.

i cant friggin wait to get out of school.

ps. anyone feel the stress getting to them? i’ve had constant stomach aches, and i spent all lunch the other day throwing up in my bathroom. =T

.

Tue, 31 Mar 2009 10:35:44 -0400

imagine all those souls
hanging upside down

i don’t know addictions
the sun keeps going down
i’m no worse than addiction
the sun keeps going down

insight or outsight
for some it’s one and the same
insight or outsight
for some it’s one and the same

Kevlar, country shield
the cops won’t find me here

i’ve fallen off their radar
i’ll leave them all behind
we’ve fallen off their radar
i’ll watch my victims melt

insight or outsight
for some it’s one and the same
insight or outsight
for some it’s one and the same

tired of standing guard for lonely me

suffocate

.

Sat, 28 Mar 2009 17:19:25 -0400

i’m at work and i have to pee so badly.

blah.

anywhoooo.

i almost done all my projects.

now that’s exciting.

but i know i’ll just get a billion more on monday

oh well.

but the good news is, every day 4 i get off at 11.

hurray!

So. always look on the bright side.

even when you feel like shit.

cause there’s always something good to look forward to.

like gaining friends.

or losing enemies.

getting into school.

life changing experiences

"I have to think of something witty…"

Fri, 27 Mar 2009 10:45:44 -0400

“I have to think of something witty…”

- Hayley McCall

.

Tue, 10 Mar 2009 10:56:00 -0400

toasted friends, broken glass
running through the summer grass
living, tired north end street

that building used to be my park
no neon signs fight with the dark
i see different stars tonight

in her life she regrets
having met those boys she met
she’s a flower in my yard

what she wants is so secure
i dont have those things i’m sure
i stay home on a friday night

humber.

Tue, 10 Mar 2009 09:17:54 -0400

i really want to get in.

omg.

my audition was like. :/

let me give you a time line of what it was like.

- greeted by Paul DeLong, nice guy. Tried to make me feel relaxed.
- didn’t work, still having a little freakout.

- played my snare solo and nailed it

- asked to play along to a jazz tune
- nailed the tune
- asked to play to a faster tune
- was nervous, couldn’t find the time for a bit, then nailed the song
- asked to trade 4’s
- oh shit

- moved on to latin/brazilian grooves
- nailed the bossa and the play along
- asked to play afro-cuban
- couldn’t do it

- moved on to funk, played an amazing funk-shuffle
- nailed the funk playalong
- asked to play 16th note r&b/funk groove
- played it okay

- asked to sight read a piece
- made it through 2 of 50 bars

- asked to trade 4s in funky-style
- oh shit

So all-in-all, it was a very mediocre audition. The stuff I knew, I did very well on. The rest I just sucked at. Oh boy…

Twenty Questions.

Mon, 09 Mar 2009 18:44:00 -0400

1. What do I mean to you?
You’re a friend.

2. Do I matter at all?
You matter, yes, as much as all my other friends do.

3. How do you feel about me now?
I want to talk to you. But I’m not a good conversationalist.

4. Do you forget about me?
Nope.

5. Are we friends?
I consider us friends.

6. Do you miss me?
I do.

7. Will you make the effort to keep our relationship something - anything - at all?
I will, but I get sidetracked by work. I try so hard to do well in school that sometimes I forget about other things.

8. Do you have any idea how much you mean to me?
Clearly not.

9. Do you care about the fact that I care about you?
I do, but I’m confused about your feelings.

10. Do you wonder about these things too?
Sometimes.

11. Will you understand that these questions are for you?
Well, I AM answering them.

12. Will you answer them for me?
It’s what I’m doing.

13. Do you have any idea how badly I want you in my life, in any way, shape, or form?
You’re gonna have to do a whole lot of explaining.

14. Will things ever go back to the way they were?
What WERE they before?

15. Can things change for us?
Depends on how you want it to change.

16. What does the future hold for the possibilty of an “us”?
I love my girlfriend.

17. Do you care?
I like to think so.

18. Will you forget about me, if you haven’t already done so?
Only if you want me to.

19. Will you get your Christmas present from me BEFORE next Christmas rolls round?
Hopefully!

20. Do you even WANT it?
Yes I do! Hopefully at the next Basement show, if I happen to be around.

pressure.

Sat, 07 Mar 2009 20:16:11 -0500

When I read the line “Congratulations! You have been accepted into the Yorks BFA Bach. Music Program” I felt a sudden relief of pressure. It was incredible. All I could do was smile. I jumped the counter at work and hugged a customer for crying out loud.

See, lately, I’ve felt like there’s a gigantic weight on my shoulder. Seriously, like, think about what Atlas (that Greek God who carries the fucking world on his shoulders) felt like. That’s how I felt. Like I have all these burdens to carry; like school, which comes with homework, schoolwork, projects; university and college, worrying about acceptance and all that jazz (haha, get it? i applied to jazz. teehee); and loneliness.

I’ve been neglecting friends. And I feel awful. I really do. I love you guys, and I know you’ve always been there for me. But I felt like I was a burden to you guys. That when I was with you, I was taking my burden, and placing it on you guys. Which just isn’t cool.

See, I’ve come to the realization that you don’t place your burdens upon your friends. They are there to help you carry your burden. And you help them carry their’s.

You can’t progress through life on your own. It’s just too overwhelming to do it all alone. There are some people who go through life doing things by themselves, and their miserable. More than miserable. It’s such a terrible existence, living on your own.

I know. I’ve been living it for the past month and a half.

But I’ve come to the realization that yes, you need friends. They’re the people who are there for you when you’re at your best (like getting accepted to one of the most prestigious music programs in the country!!!) and when you’re at your very worst. They’re there to help you out through the times when you feel like giving up. When you’re burnt out and can’t go on anymore.

So. Friends. Expect to see more of me soon.

But. The pressures haven’t disappeared. I mean, all my offers are conditional. I have to maintain grades. Nothing was said about physics, but I know that I have to get that mark up. I still have work (oh god… work… blaaahhhhhhh). And I stil have my band. Not a burden. But it’s hard working with them sometimes, especially with homework mounting.

Homework. Oh shit. The pile of it is staring me in the face. It’s actually covering part of my computer screen. You know that little part that says Tumblr, Inc.? Yeah. Can’t see that.

Jeez. No more procrastinating Thomas. Do your English.

Okay! Toodlez!

OMFGOMFGOMFG!

Fri, 06 Mar 2009 20:01:44 -0500

I GOT ACCEPTED TO YORKS MUSIC PROGRAM!

SHIT SON!!!!!!!!!